Is He Mr Right, or just Mr Right Now?

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If your relationship is in turmoil, a new book says in just six easy steps you can work out whether he's Mr Right, 

or just Mr Right Now.

By Beverley Stone

January is often a time when we re-evaluate our life. Chances are that if you’re in a relationship or marriage that’s not always fulfilling, you might be wondering whether it’s going to last. Here, psychologist and marital therapist Beverley Stone explains how her six-step programme can help anyone resolve such a dilemma.

There are all kinds of reasons why a relationship can get into trouble or start to fail — just as there are lots of reasons why people start to think about leaving their partner.

Perhaps you’ve been together for several years but wonder whether he’s really the man for you. You may be worrying about your biological clock and whether you’ll find someone better in time to have a baby.

Should I stay of should I go? January is often a time for re-evaluation... which could mean getting out of an unfulfilling
 relationship.

Maybe your children have flown the nest and you’re unsure what really binds you together. Maybe you’re with someone who’s making you miserable and undermining your confidence. Or you’re having an affair and are no longer in love with the person you live with.

Whatever the scenario, ending a failing partnership or instigating changes in an unhappy relationship can be incredibly difficult, often requiring weeks, months — even years — of tortured indecision.

I have seen many women — and men — lose a big part of themselves by staying too long in unhappy relationships. The ‘should I stay or should I go?’ conundrum leaves them suffering symptoms of stress, such as palpitations, sleeplessness, exhaustion and headaches.

Finding the strength to turn around and leave an unhappy partnership can be very hard. But if you don’t face up to the challenge and take some risks, you’ll never get out of the vicious cycle — and your life will remain unsatisfying. In fact, it can get worse as you become increasingly angry or depressed that the time you have to enjoy a better life is running out.

You may feel trapped by indecision, but if you work through my six-step programme it should help you to start making concrete choices. Should you move on, or should you work to improve things and stay with your partner? Your decision starts here.

Step 1: Start being yourself, not the person everyone else wants you to be

Moving on: Russell Brand and Katy Perry have reevaluated their relationship and decided they would be better off apart.

Do you often stop yourself saying what you really think because you know that the people around you won’t like it? If your partner asks you to do something you don’t want to do, do you give in, just for a quiet life?

Habitually hiding your opinions and needs to please others will eventually have an impact on your self-respect, happiness and even your very existence. Whether you stay in your relationship or go, if you’re to live the life you want to lead, you’re going to have to start doing things differently. 

To find out if your relationship has any potential, you need to experiment with new behaviour and agree with your partner that you’ll start telling each other what’s really on your minds in a calm, rational way. If your relationship rebalances itself then that’s great.

If, on the other hand, your being authentic makes your incompatibility with your partner even more obvious, then it’s time to leave. 

Step 2: Don’t worry what others think

Whatever anyone else says, thinks or does, it’s important to realise that it’s your decision alone. For example, if a friend implies your decision to leave your husband is immoral, you can laugh because you think she’s stupid, cry because you value her opinion of you, or shrug indifferently because her opinion means nothing to you.

Alternatively, you can consider it as an interesting point of view.

Choosing to consider people’s opinions merely as their point of view will help to dissipate some of the crippling anxiety you feel about your situation and help you to remain logical and calm. You’ll be in a better position to resolve the difficulties between you and your partner that way.

Step 3: Resolve your split personality

When it comes to making difficult decisions, two conflicting inner voices usually come into play, which makes it doubly difficult to settle on what to do.

First, there’s Confident You, the positive, encouraging, risk-taking side of your personality that tells you that whatever happens, whatever decision you take, things can only turn out for the best.

But then there’s Cautious You, the voice that tells you that you might be making a big mistake, that your situation is hopeless.

When you’re not conscious of this inner conflict, your thoughts tend to vacillate between that part of you that wants to ‘fly’ and the part of you that ‘nails your foot to the floor’ by telling you that you are not up to it.

No longer together: 

Katherine Jenkins and Gethin Jones have also recently announced 

their engagement is off.

To dissipate inner conflict, allow the Cautious You to speak to the Confident You. Take a piece of paper and start writing. Let Confident You begin with the words, ‘I resent the fact that you . . .’ When Confident You has finished the point, write Cautious You’s response. Keep this dialogue going until you’ve covered all your negative and positive thoughts about your situation, and it comes to a natural conclusion. You’ll find the two extreme points of view quickly merge into a mutual understanding and you’ll have clarity.

Step 4: You’re not as trapped as you think you are

Have I convinced you that you can start taking steps towards making a logical decision about your situation? Or are you still paralysed by the fear of rocking the boat, of being alone, or finding somewhere else to live?

To help you jump your fourth hurdle — to be aware that you always have a choice and that you’re not as trapped as you think you are — try telling yourself, ‘You can do anything with your life. You can even change your name and move to California.’

When I offer this statement to my clients who are struggling with their relationships, their replies are predictable. They say something like: ‘I can’t do that. I’ve got a partner and two children to support.’

‘Well,’ I say, ‘you can put your two children in care and divorce your partner.’ At which my clients look horrified and respond: ‘I can’t do that.’

In your face

80 per cent of men believe break-ups should be done face to face, according to Cosmopolitan magazine.

But I tell them they can. People do both, don’t they? So try saying the sentence again using the words ‘I won’t’ rather than ‘I can’t’. After a little resistance, they try, ‘I won’t put my kids in care and divorce my partner.’

It’s remarkable how the atmosphere changes as my clients begin to realise no one’s coercing them to support their family. They choose to. They want to.

When you think like this you’ll see that the prison you thought you were incarcerated in is actually of your own construction. You can leave any situation at any time — if you really want to. 

On realising this, and buoyed by their new-found sense of freedom, many people decide to stay in their relationships in a more genuine, involved way.

Equally, if they decide to leave, by changing their ‘can’t’ to ‘won’t’ — they see that they have genuine choices. You’re never as trapped as you think you are.

Step 5: Live by your own values

Still don’t know how to make your decision to stay or leave? Maybe you’re continuing to expect an ultimate rescuer to provide you with an instant solution.

Well, there is no absolute answer, no right or wrong, no higher authority to which you can turn, I’m afraid. There is no right answer.

Your job is to be you. You cannot continue to be forever trying to live up to other people’s values, standards and expectations. So stop being afraid of getting it ‘wrong’. Waiting for the perfect way to leave or the perfect way to speak your mind can result in putting things off until tomorrow. 

Step 6: Consider what you’d do if you knew you had only six months to live

What would you do with the rest of your life if you were given just six months to live?

You’d certainly be clearer about what you valued and wanted; you’d be able to decide and act. If you chose to continue in your relationship you’d challenge and change everything that bugs you. You wouldn’t be worrying about the discomfort of a couple of evenings arguing.

And, if you decided you wanted to finish the relationship, you wouldn’t hesitate to leave. Either decision would be easy because you would have ‘nothing left to lose’.

Considering the prospect of having just six months left is a good way to put things into perspective, clarify your values and encourage you to do what’s important to you, rather than getting it ‘right’ in other people’s eyes.

Life is too short to be in an unhappy situation. So begin your journey to move or improve your relationship now. 

Adapted from Stay Or Leave? Six Steps To Resolving Your Relationship Indecision by Beverley Stone, published by Watkins at £8.99. 

Via The Daily Mail 

We wondered what Katie Price 

saw in him. Now, we know!

Leandro Penna flaunts his physique as he signs up with London modeling agency

By Alanah Eriksen

He is a hunky Argentinian best known for his relationship with Katie Price. But Leandro Penna is trying to become a star in his own right in the UK. He has signed to a London agency and the 26-year-old is hoping these pictures will do the trick.

He stripped off in a risque photo shoot for Nevs Men, 

showing off his hot, toned physique.

Leandro, pictured above, is featured on a website he created with Price, which includes a bevy of other hunks, with all his measurements, eye and hair colour listed. Before meeting  Katie, 33 and mother-of-three, Leandro had small parts in a few cheesy TV shows in his native Argentina. The couple were together for about seven months, and even got each other's names tattooed on their bodies.

Now, it's all over. Penna and Price have since split. Still, the relationship served as a springboard to both their careers. Penna has become an instant celebrity - thanks to Price. And, Price garnered plenty of exposure because of her cougarish pursuits. Brief as it might have been, she obviously enjoyed all the benefits of playing with this boy toy.                                                 Via The Daily Mail 

I believe this is what is meant by 

"mixing business with pleasure." - Nealbo

What lies beneath...

Sometimes, it's just best 

to cut your losses...

...and get the Hell outta Dodge.

Image via Care2

To add your comments, click on 
links to this post  

here or below. It will take you to a stand-alone copy of this page. There, you will find the comments box, so feel free to let 'er rip.
If you like what you see here
- tell your friends!     

Spooky Reading

Buy it here✔ 

OH! Mercy!!

Internet Debris

A collection by Neal McKenna 

McKenna Ink Thesis Editing Service 

To add your comments, 

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Little posted here is mine! 

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No copyright infringement is intended.

Body Language...

A good watch but not a laugh riot.

Director/Performer – Gaëtan Schmid          

Reviewer – Neal McKenna

I wish my Sociology professor would have had Gaëtan Schmid’s style of delivery. That would have saved scores of hours of class time teetering on the edge of catatonia. Body Language is a fun and informative hour of edutainment.

In his very own peculiar way, Schmid tackles of subject body language with a little help from Desmond Morris. This is fascinating stuff because the body always tells the truth even when you don’t want it to. Your body talks and talks and talks and talks – and it just won’t shut up! A flush of red in the cheeks, blinks and twitches broadcast your true feelings while your mouth is most likely saying something quite different. Non-verbal communication consists of body posture, gestures, micro facial expressions, as well as eye movements. And, it seems we humans send and interpret these signals almost entirely subconsciously.

According to the experts, human communication consists of 93 percent body language and paralinguistic cues, while only 7% of communication consists of actual words. These experts also say between 60 and 70 percent of all meaning is derived from nonverbal behaviour. Body language provides crucial clues about the attitude or state of mind of a person. It can indicate a relaxed state, aggression, attentiveness, boredom, amusement, pleasure and even intoxication. That’s a whole lot said without ever uttering a word!

So, anthropologically, sociologically, biologically, psychologically, neurologically and not so logically; Schmid analyses the origins of our everyday gestures. Aside from being intellectual and stimulating subject matter, audiences who attend a performance of Body Language may also pick up a trick or two on how to “read” others – a boss, a spouse or even that ‘fascinating’ person sitting on the bar stool next to you!
Beneath its irreverent and comedic narrative, Body Language delivers a social message of ever increasing importance – the value of open, honest human interaction and communication. The show is most definitely relevant, interesting, quite clever and yes, funny. However, it is not knee-slapping comedy as Cape Town reviewers have described it. To be entirely frank, it is not a rollicking tour de force or a ‘laugh a minute’ roller coaster ride.

Is Body Language worth seeing? Absolutely! Like I said at the beginning of this review, it’s a fun and informative hour of edutainment. You’ll leave the theatre with a lot more knowledge about human nature than when you entered it. And, you’re more likely to remember what you’ve learned because it was delivered with lots of energy and humour. Think of it as a lecture with some really good laughs – and that’s a good thing.

Body Language plays at the Old Mutual Theatre onthe Square in Sandton, Johannesburg through February 4^th.

In the time 

before butch...

Ach du lieber! 

Get a load of his lederhosen!

Image via Mattadore

Apollo's boots 

were made for struttin'.

Love the manly pose.

Image via Mattadore

Gay Aerobics I

YouTube

Holy crap, Spock! Sulu IS gay!!

Yes, I know, Captain... 

Now get your hand off my ass!

Image via MP3Car

Batman and Robin act differently in Italy.

That same evening, Batman and Robin left wearing the clothes of two transvestites.
Robin says: "I didn't amuse myself like this when I was in college."

Image via Tack-O-Rama

From the time he was a little boy, 

all Oscar Mayer could think about 

was wieners.

Image via Tack-O-Rama

Gay Aerobics II

YouTube

This scene from Step-Brothers has the distinction of being the only movie 

moment (to date) that’s made me 

shriek out loud.

Image via Tack-O-Rama

Been there, and stayed to redecorate...

Image & Caption via Suffering Fools Badly

LOVE the bathing suit ensembles! 

LOVE the mermaid's whole look! 

But am I the only one assuming this poor fishy was caught at the beach on Fire Island? 

These guys look as gay as sleigh bells.

Image & caption via Suffering Fools Badly

Gay Aerobics III

YouTube

Remember girls, for white water rafting or jungle travel a jeweled thong with matching cuffs is absolutely de rigueur!

Image via Suffering Fools Badly

Oh Mercy!

Image via Tack-O-Rama

Gay Aerobics IV

YouTube

Image via Popper Font

What lies beneath...

This News Just In! 

Former Italian cruise ship captain, 

Francesco Schettino, 

began his new job as a school bus driver yesterday…

Image via Andrew Ross

Spooky Reading

Buy it here✔ 

To add your comments, click on 
links to this post 
here or below. It will take you to a stand-alone copy of this page. There, you will find the comments box, so feel free to let 'er rip.
If you like what you see here
- tell your friends!     

The Gay Blades of Hollywood I

Internet Debris

A collection by Neal McKenna 

McKenna Ink Thesis Editing Service 

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click here.

NOTHING posted here is mine! 

Internet Debris does not claim rights 

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No copyright infringement is intended.

The Gay Blades of Hollywood.

But before we go to Tinsel Town, 

here is a very important message.

ACTA is...

The  Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement 

ACTA in a Nutshell –

What is ACTA? ACTA is the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement. A new intellectual property enforcement treaty being negotiated by the United States, the European Community, Switzerland, and Japan, with Australia, the Republic of Korea, New Zealand, Mexico, Jordan, Morocco, Singapore, the United Arab Emirates, and Canada recently announcing that they will join in as well.
Why should you care about ACTA? Initial reports indicate that the treaty will have a very broad scope and will involve new tools targeting “Internet distribution and information technology.”
What is the goal of ACTA? Reportedly the goal is to create new legal standards of intellectual property enforcement, as well as increased international cooperation, an example of which would be an increase in information sharing between signatory countries’ law enforcement agencies.

Essential ACTA Resources 

Read more about ACTA here: ACTA Fact Sheet
Read the authentic version of the ACTA text as of 15 April 2011, as finalized by participating countries here: ACTA Finalized Text
Follow the history of the treaty’s formation here: ACTA history
Read letters from U.S. Senator Ron Wyden wherein he challenges the constitutionality of ACTA: Letter 1 | Letter 2 | Read the Administration’s Response to Wyden’s First Letter here: Response
Watch a short informative video on ACTA: ACTA Video
Watch a lulzy video on ACTA: Lulzy Video

Say NO to ACTA. It is essential to spread awareness 

and get the word out on ACTA.

Now, let's get to...

The Gay Blades of Hollywood

Anthony Perkins: the sexually conflicted actor

Anthony Perkins was an actor who had affairs with A-list male celebrities: Rock Hudson, Tab Hunter, Troy Donahue, Rudolf Nureyev, Paul Newman, Leonard Bernstein, James Dean, and Stephen Sondheim. 

The one that lasted, however, was with dancer/choreographer Grover Dale, with whom Perkins had a six-year relationship before his 1973 marriage to photographer Berry Berenson, the sister of actress Marisa Berenson. Dale, who had been Perkins’ understudy in the stage musical Greenwillow, also married in 1973 (must have been something in the water that year). Perkins was 41 years old at the time of his marriage and said he had sex with a woman for the first time just a year before that, at age 39, with his co-star Victoria Principal during filming of The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean.
Perkins was a veteran of stage, screen and TV, even earning an Oscar nomination forFriendly Persuasion, but he lived in utter fear that Confidential magazine would out him, as it did with Tab Hunter, one of his early lovers. Perkins had two sons with Berenson, but he died of AIDS in 1992 at age sixty; he did not acknowledge during his lifetime that he had the disease, even though the National Enquirer broke the story two years before his death. 

His performance as Norman Bates in Hitchcock’s film Psycho is unforgettable, but his career went into decline soon afterward. Perkins was known to frequent gay porn stores and gay movie houses in Times Square, NYC, where he watched men have sex in the stairwells.
For over a decade Perkins lived in a platonic relationship with photographer Helen Merrell, a dominating force of a woman 14 years his senior. Merrell went on to become an influential theatrical agent and philanthropist.
In the late 1950s, Perkins released three pop song albums, but a career as a singer never materialized, although he did have several successful singing roles in Broadway musicals. 

Perkins also worked as a stage actor. In 1958, he was nominated for a Tony Award for Best Actor for his performance in the Broadway play Look Homeward, Angel. During this time he also starred in Green Mansions(1959) with Audrey Hepburn and the college comedy Tall Story (1960) with Jane Fonda.
His widow, Berry Berenson, was tragically killed while aboard American Airlines flight 11 as it crashed into the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. 

In the role that forever defined him: Perkins (as Norman Bates) with Janet Leigh in Hitchcock's masterpiece: PSYCHO. 

Text and images via Gay Influence

Paul Newman Meets Marlon Brando

Paul Newman (b. 1925) was a movie star so impossibly attractive that all the most famous faces of Hollywood, both male and female, wanted to bed him. He complied enthusiastically.

In spite of being a married man with three children, Newman had affairs with Marlon Brando, James Dean, Montgomery Clift, Anthony Perkins, Sal Mineo, John Derek and Steve McQueen, among many others. Women were not neglected, and he managed to bed Elizabeth Taylor, Grace Kelly and Jacqueline Kennedy. As well, he had affairs with most of his leading ladies, apparently giving Marlon Brando a run for his money. Brando was a little touchy on the subject. I forget which web site revealed this tantalizing tidbit:

In Porter’s 2009 biography Paul Newman: The Man Behind the Baby Blues, Marlon Brando commented about Newman’s bisexuality. Porter interviewed Brando before his death in 2004, and relates this quote from Marlon: "He never fooled me. Paul Newman had just as many on-location affairs as the rest of us, and he was just as bisexual as I was. But, where I was always getting caught with my pants down, he managed to do it in the dark."

Hmmm. Most of us think of Paul Newman as the actor faithfully married to Joanne Woodward, a generous benefactor responsible for distributing millions of dollars in food for starving, homeless children. Thanks to the people at Kindle (can’t wait until they ship my Fire in a few days), sixty seconds later I found myself reading about those Baby Blues. It turns out he had three children by a previous wife, whom he ignored, leaving her home alone to raise the kids while he was out all night participating in a sexual olympics. 

There was more homosexual activity than hetero in Newman’s early years, although at times he hated himself for his gay proclivities. The rest of his life was lived trying to suppress these homosexual urges, knowing what a detriment it could be to a high profile acting career. However, he continued to participate in homosexual activity well into the 1970s. Gay porn star Cal Culverclaimed that he was the last man to have sex with Newman.

Newman idolized Marlon Brando and plotted to meet him. After his discharge from the Navy in 1946, Newman enrolled in the all-male Kenyon College (Ohio) at age 21, with plenty of gay sexual experience under his belt (going back to his high school days). When one of his professors returned to the school after a field trip to Broadway, he was told that Brando’s performance in A Streetcar Named Desire was a not-to-be-missed sensation. Newman hopped a train to NYC and checked into the YMCA, planning to take in as many Broadway shows as he could before his cash ran out. The closest he could get to Brando was a standing room ticket.

Newman was floored, totally swept away by Brando’s performance. He went backstage, but was not successful in getting to meet his instant idol. Newman foreswore any other Broadway shows, returning every night (with better seats) to see Brando’s mesmerizing performance. He hatched a plot to meet him. Having read that Brando rode his motorcycle around the city every night after his performance, Newman searched the alleys behind the theater until he spotted a motorcycle. An hour after the curtain, Brando appeared, and Paul nervously confronted his prey with a well-rehearsed line: “Mr. Brando, you’re the greatest thing since God granted men the right to cum.”

Worked like a charm. Next thing you know, Brando was saying, “Now get your fucking cute little ass over here and plop it down on my cycle. I’m going to take you on a tour of the midnight sights of Manhattan.”

According to Carlo Fiore, Brando’s longtime companion, Brando later boasted, “I fucked the kid in all known positions. He even inspired me to some new ones. The kid even resembles me. It was as if I was fucking my younger self, even though he’s just a few years younger than me. Of course, by the time he got on that train back to Ohio, he’d fallen madly in love with me.”

Back at school, Newman wrote Brando a fan letter every week. None was ever answered. Even so, once Newman returned to college, he changed his major to Drama, and the next big change in his life came when he won a spot at Lee Strasberg’s Actors Studio in NYC, where he became caught up in an affair with fellow student James Dean. 

But Brando continued to haunt his life. They looked so much alike that throughout the 1950s people came up to Paul mistaking him for Marlon and asked for his autograph. Paul obliged. Even though he had a wife and two children, Paul started an affair with actress Kim Stanley, who herself had earlier had a sexual relationship with Brando. According to one of Kim’s many other lovers, the relationship between Paul and Kim ended like this. Once, when they were having sex, she called out “Marlon,” and Newman became furious. He leapt out of bed, put on his clothes and stormed out after they argued. Kim said. “Don’t judge me. I’m trying to get over Brando. You look like him – you can help me get over him. You don’t know what it’s like to get fucked by Marlon Brando.” 

Newman replied, “You’re wrong about that. I know exactly what it feels like to get fucked by Marlon Brando.”

Ouch.

Paul had a few other brushes with famous people at the start of his career. When Newman encountered Monty Clift leaving his agent’s office, Clift brazenly came on to him, clasping his hands (and not letting go) and asking for his phone number. Monty gushed, “Where has God’s gift been hiding all my life? It’s not every day I meet a man who’s handsomer than I am.” Monty then kissed Paul on the lips and headed out. 
Monty’s brother Brooks said that Paul complained about how rough Monty was in bed. “When Monty kisses, he doesn’t do it with love, but to hurt you. You come away with a bloody mouth. When I wake up in bed with him, I find myself battered and bruised. He sure likes to be the dominant one. And just when you want to kick him out, he looks up at you with those soulful eyes, and you melt.”

Shelley Winters blabbed that she once had a three-way with Brando and Newman. She later told her lover John Ireland, “In the 40s I had a three-way with Gable and Flynn; in the 50s I sampled Newman and Brando together. I can’t wait to see what the 60s will bring.”

Frank Sinatra once invited Newman to join him and Marilyn Monroe in a three-way, but first Sinatra had to feel him out, wanting to be sure Paul “was into girls.” Sinatra said he had gotten mixed reports about Newman’s proclivities. He told Newman, “Marilyn and I agree you’re one cute guy. I told her I’d fuck you myself if I were into boys.” Paul was incredulous. Sinatra continued. “Well, even the Caesars liked a little diversion. I slipped a peek and saw your naked ass bobbing up and down while you fucked that two-bit whore last time. It looked mighty tempting.”

Text and images via Gay Influence

Paul Newman Meets James Dean

At the Actors Studio in NYC, James Dean introduced himself to Newman and came on to him in a direct way, suggesting that the two of them play a love scene in front of the students, saying that they’d “set the studio on fire.” Paul was taken aback. He told Dean, “Hey pal, let’s slow down. Where I come from, we like to work up to things.”

They didn't play a love scene, but Dean had his way with him, and it was 6:00 am when Paul boarded the Staten Island Ferry back to his apartment, where he was living with his wife and son. Because Dean bragged about his conquests to his lover/patron Rogers Brackett, we are handed down this story of their first tryst. It was not the last.

Dean told Brackett, “I fucked him, he fucked me, and I taught him to swallow my spit, just like you do. One night I got him to fuck me in the doorway of an abandoned building in the meat-packing district. Sex is all the more exciting when it’s done in a dangerous public space.” 

Dean soon explained to Newman that he was a “kept boy” and took him to the posh apartment he shared with Brackett. During the next three weeks a volcano of lust erupted between the two. Paul Newman fell head over heels, and Dean was fully in charge of their relationship. Dean made Newman wear a red baseball cap to match his own, so that people would see them as a pair. Paul complied willingly. Paul was seen on the West Coast wearing that red cap even after Dean’s untimely death.

Echoing the experience with Shelley Winters and Brando, Eartha Kitt once bedded Dean and Newman after a dance lesson. “I had both of them that afternoon, and I came to the conclusion that white boys are so delicious. That time back in my dance studio ranks as one of the most celestial experiences of my life. Those two beauties transported me to heaven. I never knew that lovemaking could be so beautiful.”

It was awkward that often Dean and Newman were up for the same part. Kazan’s asked them to take a joint screen test (photo below) for East of Eden, and Paul was devastated when Dean got the part of Caleb. Newman begged to be given a lesser role in the film – any role – but no offer was forthcoming. But Newman’s greatest humiliation was losing the role of Danny in Battle Cry to Tab Hunter. “Losing out to James Dean was one thing, but how could I ever live down losing a role to Tab Hunter?”

Paul’s impossibly handsome face made life complicated for a family man. Rod Steiger said, “He was the Golden Boy of Broadway. Hell, he was so fucking beautiful. Everybody wanted him, and he was willing to share with both men and women. Paul was so pretty I would have fucked him if he asked me to, and I’m about the straightest actor in the business.” 

Eventually Newman decided to abandon his wife and two children for Hollywood. He signed a Warner Brothers contract for $1000 a week, enough to buy a motorcycle to match the one James Dean road up and down the coast in Santa Monica and Malibu. On weekends the two would get off their bikes, strip naked and frolic in the surf, followed by lovemaking by moonlight on the sand. Dean told all the lurid details to his sugar daddy, Rogers Brackett, to fuel his jealousy. Dean and Newman also spent many wild weekends in Tijuana.

Dean pushed Newman into moving into the Chateau Marmont, where Paul met Tony Perkins lounging by the pool the very first day of his residence. This was the start of a friendship and decades-long love affair. 

Text and images via Gay Influence

Paul Newman meets Anthony Perkins

Twenty-nine-year-old Paul Newman was working on his first Hollywood film, The Silver Chalice (1954), when he moved into an apartment at the Chateau Marmont, where James Dean was also a resident. On his first afternoon there, Paul was relaxing by the pool when he was approached by Anthony Perkins, who introduced himself as Tony. According to Maila Nurmi, a long-time friend and confidante of Tony’s, Perkins told her that the two found themselves in bed within minutes of meeting. For the next few weeks they were engaged in an intensely sexual relationship. Welcome to the neighborhood.

Perkins was a handsome, tortured homosexual who really wanted to be straight. Newman was bisexual, but was like a kid in a candy store, sampling whatever satisfied his sweet tooth, be it male or female. Perkins and Newman never intended to become a couple, but they were both sexually adventurous. Perkins was also involved at the time with Tab Hunter and Robert Francis. In fact, most of the twenty-something male Hollywood stars were all sleeping with each other, but Newman was the only one married with three kids at the time.

Newman began his relationship with Joanne Woodward as an affair during his marriage to first wife Jackie. Even after Newman married Joanne, he and Perkins kept up a decades-long on-again, off-again relationship. Thirteen years later Perkins would have his first sexual experience with a woman, Victoria Principal, oddly while co-starring in a film with Newman,The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean. It must have been quite a reunion for Perkins, working with former flame Newman as well as Tab Hunter. I forgot to mention Roddy McDowall was in the cast, as well; the actors' cafeteria must have been like a gay bar. Perkins was 39 years old. Although Perkins went on to marry and have children, he died tragically from AIDS in 1990 at age sixty. 

There were awkward times when the two were up for the same parts. Perkins was suggested by Alfred Hitchcock himself for the male lead in Torn Curtain, but Universal Studios preferred box-office champ Paul Newman. Perkins was devastated.

One big happy family (photo below): 

Anthony Perkins, Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward star in WUSA (1970)

It is a tantalizing fact that Paul Newman, Anthony Perkins and Joanne Woodward all starred together in WUSA (A Hall of Mirrors) in 1970. Co-producer Paul Newman called it "the most significant film I've ever made and the best." Critics disagreed. The film is about a New Orleans radio station (WUSA) involved in a right-wing conspiracy. It culminates with a riot and stampede at a patriotic pep-rally when an assassin on a catwalk opens fire. 

Have a look (clip below).

Text and images via Gay Influence

Paul Newman meets Steve McQueen

"I thought Newman was arrogant.

When I finally got him into bed, I taught him who the man was." 

– Steve McQueen on Paul Newman

They first met on the set of Somebody Up There Likes Me (1956, rooftop photo below). McQueen approached Newman and propositioned him after engaging in crude, even insulting banter. Newman later told his friend Janice Rule that as they ended their conversation, McQueen planted a wet, sloppy kiss on him. With tongue. 

Thus began a rivalrous relationship that was frequently acrimonious. McQueen turned down Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) because he wouldn’t accept second billing to Newman. The two fought like cats and dogs over the positioning of their names on the movie poster for Towering Inferno (1974). 
McQueen was a brash liar, but Newman found himself strangely attracted to him, and there was obvious sexual tension between the two. But Paul was also having a sexual relationship with Sal Mineo at the time, and Mineo had fallen madly in love with him and wanted to live together as a couple. When Paul rejected that offer, Mineo attempted suicide.

By this time Newman had moved his mistress, Joanne Woodward, into the Chateau Marmont. If those walls could talk. Christopher Isherwood called on Paul and Joanne. Gore Vidal was a resident on a different floor (as a cover, Woodward considered marrying Vidal to further the future of his race for the U.S. presidency). Marilyn Monroe once knocked on Newman’s door with a bottle of champagne and got lucky, since Paul was alone that afternoon. Grace Kelly hit on him at the Chateau Marmont – it was Newman who felt lucky that day. 

Photo: Rivals McQueen and Newman spar on the rooftop in Somebody Up There Likes Me (1956)

When a friend took Newman to task for using a clean-cut image to hide a calculating, black heart, Paul had to listen to a life assessment as one of betrayal, deceit and lies. His friend suggested that Woodward had no inkling of the nefarious activity Paul was up to. Newman replied, “You’re right. Secretly I’m a devil. I can be a very, very bad boy.”

About this time Newman developed a serious man crush on Robert Wagner, but it did not turn sexual. Two later crushes (Robert Redford and Tom Cruise) also ended with similar results. Fortunately Newman was able to satisfy his need for man-on-man sex with McQueen, who was still hitting on him. 
Once Newman agreed to meet Steve in a cheap hotel in Long Beach, where McQueen said, “I’ve got every horny woman in Hollywood trying to get me to f*ck her. I need a break, a different kind of action now and then. You’re the kind of change I have in mind.” This sort of clandestine activity between the Hollywood rivals went on for years.

Just around the corner was one of Newman’s great cinematic triumphs, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958), in which he plays a repressed homosexual by the name of Brick. James Deanwas lined up for the role, but he died in a car crash before production began. In the film version, the direct homosexual references were removed from the Tennessee Williams script in order to satisfy then current production codes. The film script dances around the reasons Brick and Cat (Elizabeth Taylor) haven’t slept together in years, but mention of the suicide of Brick’s close football chum Skipper is retained.

Newman told Tennessee Williams, "The role of Brick is perfect for me. All my life I've been split into two different directions. One side of me wants to live life with my gay football buddy Skipper, the other side is tempted to fuck the living shit out of Maggie the Cat and be the heterosexual stud most of my fans want me to be."

Hollywood insiders divulge that Elvis Presley was considered for the part of Brick, and that Elvis and Paul got together to talk about it. Elvis asked about Newman’s friendship with James Dean. Newman swore that Elvis told him, “I’ll make a confession. I’m about the straightest dude that ever walked the planet. But if that fucker ever called me, I’d come running. I guess you’d say I have an obsession with Dean.”

Faye Dunaway tries to keep the rivals apart in Towering Inferno (1974)

Well, honestly. The next time I go shopping for salad dressing, it won't be the image of starving children that comes to mind.

Text and images via Gay Influence

Clark Gable: the worst lay in Hollywood

When Clark Gable (at left, circa 1927) first arrived in Hollywood in 1925, he would do anything or use anyone to advance his career. His first two wives were decidedly unglamorous older women who kept Gable in the lifestyle of a star. As soon as Gable touched the limelight, he abandoned his second wife and followed wherever his penis led. He tore through Hollywood’s women with the appetite of a starving teenager, with one notable exception.
Gable had one homosexual encounter that is well documented. The great silent film star Billy Haines, who was the most popular male film star of 1930, was the hub of gay Hollywood. He told all his friends about his sexual hookup with Clark Gable in the late 1920s, which was unusual, since Haines never bragged about such things. Haines knew first hand the damage that could be caused by a public knowledge of homosexuality. Joan Crawford confirmed the story, and her testament holds up under scrutiny because she was the lifelong best friend of both men. She had no reason to lie about either star, and she cherished the friendship of both.  

More than ten years later Gable avenged his gay past. Hollywood was awash with both homosexuals and Jews, and Gable let it be known that he held both factions in disdain. By 1939 Gable had come to personify the image of a super macho male star. During filming of Gone with the Wind, Gable seemed uncomfortable by the occasional presence of Billy Haines, who visited the set as a guest of director George Cukor (who was both homosexual and Jewish). When Gable overheard the comment, “George Cukor is directing one of Billy’s old tricks,” Gable walked off the set and vowed not to return until Cukor was replaced.
MGM decided it needed Gable more than Cukor for this particular project, and Victor Fleming was ushered in as replacement director, even though Cukor had already worked for two years on preproduction and filming. Although Gone with the Wind became one of the great films of all time, the incident didn’t harm the career of George Cukor, who immediately began working on The Women and continued to make top grossing films.
Gable, below, circa 1931, without a moustache (or cigar). Gable died at the age of 59 in 1960, before his last film The Misfits (with costar Marilyn Monroe) was released.

From a 1939 press report:

Clark Gable and Carole Lombard met first in 1932, while making a picture called No Man of Her Own. Gable was then a novice leading man, only four years removed from the career of bumming, lumberjacking and cheap stock company acting. Carole Lombard was an ex-Mack Sennett comedienne trying hard to make a reputation as a serious actress. Both were married. Gable's wife was a well-to-do Texas widow ten years his senior. Lombard's husband was Actor William Powell. At this first meeting, neither Gable nor Lombard showed any interest in the other.
Their next meeting of importance occurred at a party given by Hollywood's famed Countess di Frasso in 1935. By this time, Carole Lombard had divorced William Powell and Gable was no longer living with his wife. Countess di Frasso's guests had been asked to come in something white. Carole Lombard arrived in a white ambulance, wearing a white nightgown, lying on a white cot which was carried in by three white-clad interns. She and Gable danced together all evening. Later, Lombard had the ambulance decorated with a red heart and sent it to Gable. He had the motor supercharged and drove about in it for two years.
Later on, to show her affection for Gable, Carole Lombard sent him hams with his picture painted on them. He reciprocated with a gift of a fire engine. Soon Gable and Lombard called each other "Ma" and "Pa."
The progress of the Gable-Lombard romance was apparently impeded by Mrs. Gable until last January, when she announced that she would sue for a divorce. When the divorce was granted, March 7, Clark Gable and Carole Lombard at last admitted they would marry, without saying when.
One day last week, Clark Gable got into his cream-colored roadster, picked up Carole Lombard and drove 350 miles east to Kingman, Ariz. There they bought a license from an awestruck clerk named Viola Olsen, and proceeded to the home of a Methodist Episcopal minister named Kenneth M. Engle. In the presence of his wife and a high-school principal named Cate, who later defined their behavior as "lovey-dovey," Mr. Engle made Clark Gable and Carole Lombard man and wife. Gable wore blue, Lombard grey.
Immediately after the ceremony, Mr. & Mrs. Gable started back to Hollywood. They told reporters they would not take a honeymoon until Gable was through making Gone With the Wind, and Lombard her next picture, Memory of Love, for RKO. They expected, within two weeks, to move into Gable's ranch house in San Fernando Valley. They did not expect to call it "the House of the Seven Gables." Asked whether she would retire and have children, Carole Lombard blushed.
Next day, Gable was back at work and the Gable-Lombard romance took its place among Hollywood classics of its kind – Douglas Fairbanks and Mary Pickford (divorced), Douglas Fairbanks Jr. and Joan Crawford (divorced), John Barrymore and Dolores Costello (divorced), Charlie Chaplin and Paulette Goddard (undefined).

Trivia: After Gable was crowned "The King of Hollywood," Carole Lombard joked, “If his cock was one inch shorter, they’d be calling him the Queen of Hollywood. God knows I love Clark, but he’s the worst lay in the town.”

Text and images via Gay Influence

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