Friday, September 23, 2011

AH Men

McKenna Ink Thesis Editing Service

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The Ah Men mail order catalog...

had to be the gayest catalog EVER!!!

I'm sorry boys and girls and girls, but WHO in their right mind would wear any of these lounge-wear get-ups?


On the left, are these not vision-destroying pyjamas? And how about the one-armed guy in the dress? In actuality, this particular little confection is referred to as "The Snapper." Guess that should have been obvious... Right?

Lazy lounging!  

Briiinnng... Hark! Do I hear a sitar? The swami above looks distinctly unfriendly and more than a tad like Chuck Norris gone sissy. 

Okay, again I reiterate: WHO in their right mind would wear any of these street-wear get-ups? It would have just been asking for a big smack in the kisser! ...And not the fun kind.

Garden District...

Gold and silver LUREX trimmed jeans... How butch! And a perfect choice for just hanging around traditional Japanes gardens. In case you're interested, the guy on the left seems to be wearing the Superstar Jean which is a nice counterpoint to his surprisingly boring Raja shirt by Barba Sport. 

My advice to him is start growing a mustache pronto. Then he can look as fey as his two girlfriends. Truth is they're all screamers but get a load of the fuck-eyed number in the red shirt!
Dear Customer...

Now, that gay... er, guy... in the pants with the really, really well-defined bulge seems to be wearing a Sergeant Major shirt. They were de rigour back in the '70s.

Page 1... your point of entry

    Your point of entry? Oh really! That's about as subtle as a brick, don't you think? 

...Anyway, see how our preppy lad has been slightly isolated from his more virile friends. One can only assume it's because of his lack of a mustache. 

He seems fairly dejected all around, only putting on a happy face for the camera. But his orange duffle bag has already slipped through his sad little fingers to lie  rather perfectly  on the tarmac.

    Hmmm...I wonder what's in those well-stuffed canvas bags? I would bet marabou stork feathers to silver sequins it's more clothes. In fact, they would have to be apparel of the most astounding variety including polyester mumus for men, of course; lots of gold lamé for that exotic & scintillating touch; togs for exercising; skimpies for swimming; as well as trendy threads for just walking around and looking faaaabulous. Stay tuned. The journey has scarcely begun.

The cover behind the brown paper wrapper. Steppin' out in a gold disco suit

Ah Men! Imagine yourself in 1979. Here we see Chas Wentworth and his good friend Trent  just 'Trent,' OK? They're enjoying a night out at the space disco. Notice the shockingly phallic balloon on the lower left, notice the shockingly phallic bulge in Chas' golden pyjama bottoms. Oh you did already? 
Well! Can anyone spot the third wheel here?
Notice the boys have managed to ditch the fag hag? After Donna Summer's disco dirge, "Last Dance," they'll make a dash for Chas' love loft. It's just around the corner. ...From the glint in their eyes  and their baskets  you can tell these lads are truly looking forward to a little struggle in the percale.
Jumpsuits for Ah Men
“Baby. We’re set for our sail. Are you ready to head out onto the deep waters? We’re people who make things happen. It’s choppy and wet out there. We need the protection of these terrycloth jumpsuits. No telling what’s waiting for us out in the briny deep. And don’t get upset when I ask you to unzip me, Baby. It’s been a long time since I’ve known the touch of a woman.”
Ah Men Sunsations
Male Order Catalog[AhMenSunsations-001.jpg]
Why do these girls even bother trying?
1,2,3 Via Viver en Tucson
...The Ah Men Look - October, 1968
Via Modern Mechanics
The 1970s - the decade fashion totally forgot. This is a men’s style catalog reflecting more innocent times and a great deal of questionable dress sense - plus a bizarre advertisement for a product called 
“New Adam Scented & Flavored 
Genital Towelettes.”
A few pages of the 1972 Ah Men Super Summer Catalog can be viewed here.

Via Dangerous Minds

The 1974 Ah Men Catalog
Via Drew's Grooveland
...And here is a close runner-up!
The International Male 

1986 Holiday Catalog: 
The Recockulous Jackpot!

 Here is the best and the worst of two International Male catalogs from the summer of 1986, but there's one more flea market find I had to share with you guys: The 1986 Holiday catalog. Can't you tell from the tuxedo shirt and saxophone on the cover that untold treasures lie inside? Fringed leather jackets! Ski jeans & more! 
 Dodai Stewart 

Yeah, that's right. Uptown. Where purple and pink are hot. Where a satin big shirt is cool and recreational drugs are necessary. The Publisher's Choice: Is that Colin Farrell? Or maybe his big brother? Maybe not.
Full size

Dude, should I wear my Avanti slacks with the Vercelli, the Griffin sweater, or both?"
Full size

S351 looks suspiciously like a throw 

from my Mom's couch.
Full size

Note the utter lack of irony in that man's face as he models that Vaquero Jacket. 

Fringe is his friend.
Full size

It wasn't just in 'Better Off Dead.' 

In the '80s, stuff like this really happened.
Full size

My mind keeps whispering, "You mean foreign lesion. From sketchy sex."

Who likes short shorts?

They like short shorts!

Wait a second! Is that Kim Cattrall?

Well? Is it??????

There's nothing like an intense workout! Especially when it involves wearing shimmering spandex and getting a grip on another dude. Ooooh! Feel the burn!
UnderGear: No Boxers, No Briefs... 

Ahem. What do you think would happen if I called right now and tried to order this item right out of 1986? Seriously. 

I need to know.
Re-blogged from Jezebel 

Below is a sample of some typical
1980s International Male "fashions."

Image Via Hub Pages

Scary, innit?

Image Via Hub Pages
From The People Who Brought You International Male... 
Searching For The Worst Outfit In 'International Male'
The Best & Worst Of 'International Male,' Summer 1986
Re-blogged from Jezebel 

Finding Jesus

I hadn't realized he was missing but apparently he's been swimming with the fishies!
Image Via A Mountain Momma
Try Some Mio!

But hooray for modern times...

Nothing beats
the 2011 Basket Brigade!

Via Just another Cub
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Spoooky Reading

Buy it here
What lies beneath...

I have no flipping idea of what this is about 
 but it seems to fit. 
Via Be Brilliant


  1. Like this page.. very funny, thanks for putting this up.

  2. I used to photo direct for these guys, best time I have ever had. Hilarious, hilarious times!!!